Thursday, January 15, 2009
I'm Gonna Meet You On The Astral Plane
One of my friends claims to have had an out-of-body experience. You know, where your "astral" body disconnects from your physical body and floats around.
"Yeah man, I just woke up in the middle of the night and my face was like an inch from the ceiling!"
That's because you sleep in a bunk bed. Clearly you can't handle the top bunk. I bet if you got a big-boy bed your paranormal experiences would greatly decrease. Seriously, you're 30...it's time to upgrade to a car-bed or something.
I used to sleep on a bunk bed, and I noticed that there are several pros and cons to being on the top.
PRO: Nobody's gonna pee on you.
CON: Sometimes you think you're traveling through time and space.
PRO: Somebody is probably paying your rent.
CON: Somebody is breathing right beneath you. Creepy.
Speaking of car-beds. I think the creepiest one you could have would be a molester van.
"Why does your bed have tinted windows?"