Thursday, January 15, 2009

Piano Man


I went to a dueling piano bar in downtown Minneapolis the other day called The Shout House. I feel pretty bad for those guys at the piano because they have to keep up the appearance of spontaneous gaity and yet every night they get the same songs requested over and over. Oh awesome, The Piano Man by Billy Joel AGAIN! So in order to shake up their night, and to amuse myself, I decided to request songs that don't exist by bands that don't exist. And by putting a ten dollar bill down, they HAVE to play it. But how? Ooooo, conundrums!

About an hour after I dropped my request on his piano, I suddenly see one of the piano guys pick up a sheet of paper and say:

"I don't even know who 'Level Four Funk Offender' is? Or the song....'Uncle Jimmy's Pantaloons'? Uh...I don't know how to play this. I don't know the words."

I was prepared for this part.

"FLIP IT OVER!" I yell.

The piano man flips over the paper and much to my delight, awkwardly reads the impromptu lyrics that I scribbled on the back.

Uncle Jimmy's pantaloons
He's been dancing since half-past noon
Uncle Jimmy's pantaloons
Gonna have to change them soon

He didn't actually play the song, and for that I want my ten dollars back, but it weirded him out just enough that I think it was pretty much worth it.

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