Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Profile: Psychic Tiff

I love Tiffany Johnson. How can you not like a grown woman who is obsessively infatuated with Hello Kitty but still calls you "toots" and "sugar"? She's like a Japanese schoolgirl and a truck stop waitress got together in the 80's. And she's psychic. Yep. Which is wholly appropriate, because we call her Psychic Tiff. If she were a construction worker named Bob it wouldn't make any sense.

I recently doned my tin-foil hat (so she couldn't read my mind and mess up my interview) and did a little Q&A with Tiffany.

Name: Tiffany Johnson

Favorite TV show: Supernatural

Psychic ability or Hello Kitty?: (Tiff stammers and looks like I just asked her to choose between her arms and her legs.) If I didn't have the psychic ability then I couldn't afford the Hello Kitty. How about Hello Psychic Kitty? (I'll let this one slide because it's adorable.)

Name the musician - "Went to a party last Saturday night, didn't get laid but I got in a fight...": LITA FORD!!!! My hair is an homage to her, but it's more nappy. (I told you she was 80's!)

Do you know where my bike is?: Yes, do you? (Sorry Tiff. The correct answer is "in the basement of the Alamo" like in Pee Wee's Big Adventure. We then got into a fight over what was the best 80's movie, which I said was Pee Wee and she said "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" which came out in 1997.)

When you meet another psychic, do you have to cut off their head like in Highlander?: How'd you know? Did you get the handbook?

If you eat a leaf, what do you turn into?: Lettuce. (I was about tell Tiffany that she was wrong again and that it was a flying raccoon a la Super Mario Brothers 3 when she suddenly scarfed down a handful of leaves and turned into a piece of lettuce. I stand corrected.)

To learn more about Psychic Tiff and her amazing shape-shifting-into-ruffage abilities, go to


  1. I found your blog through Howie's Blog and love your posts. I am definately adding you to our Above the Norm blog list and looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

  2. I'm stealing that "poof!" and using it as often as possible.

  3. can you believe ive never seen any peewee movies?