Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Cookie Rapper

"Chocolate chip, oatmeal, peanut butter too
I'm the Cookie Rapper and I'm rapping for you
So don't just stand there, lazy, lookin' like a wookie
Reach on in and have yourself a cookie...MMMMMMMM!"


Yo, yo this next rap is dedicated to all the haters who think my cookies is stale! YEAH! (Parental Advisory: EXPLICIT LYRICS)

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Yo, I'm wiser than Buddha
Damn your crackers smell like gouda



I showed Rudolph the ghetto
now Santa's drivin' a Metro



You's a big ol' clown
Bitch, put those Oreo's down



I'd lick a venus flytrap
before I'd eat your wack gingersnap



My ho's are so Raven
while your Ding-Dongs is craven



Even John Wayne
thinks your Grape Nuts is lame



CHORUS: COOOOKKKKKKIIIIEEEESSSSSSS!!! COOOOOOKKKKKKIIIIEEEESSSSSSS!!!


I shit on tacos...




I shit on Swiss Miss...



I shit on Ramen noodles...



And then I take a piss........YO



Your snacks are environment keen
they go right to the "green"



Just like Tawny Kitaen
your ass will never be the same


George of the Jungle
Your beef jerky smells fungal



Damn, that Devil's Food Cake
Gives even Beelzebub a headache



So drop that ice cream cone
And give Cookie Rapper tha THRONE!



COOOOOOKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Cookie Rapper....2009 y'all. OUT!

6 comments:

  1. Mike, you have way too much time on your hands.

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  2. Dude you are friggin hilarious!

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  3. You are fricking insane hilarious! Love it!

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  4. The Ice Cream hat! I hope that Bill wears it all the time!

    ReplyDelete