Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Cookie Rapper

"Chocolate chip, oatmeal, peanut butter too
I'm the Cookie Rapper and I'm rapping for you
So don't just stand there, lazy, lookin' like a wookie
Reach on in and have yourself a cookie...MMMMMMMM!"

Yo, yo this next rap is dedicated to all the haters who think my cookies is stale! YEAH! (Parental Advisory: EXPLICIT LYRICS)


Yo, I'm wiser than Buddha
Damn your crackers smell like gouda

I showed Rudolph the ghetto
now Santa's drivin' a Metro

You's a big ol' clown
Bitch, put those Oreo's down

I'd lick a venus flytrap
before I'd eat your wack gingersnap

My ho's are so Raven
while your Ding-Dongs is craven

Even John Wayne
thinks your Grape Nuts is lame


I shit on tacos...

I shit on Swiss Miss...

I shit on Ramen noodles...

And then I take a piss........YO

Your snacks are environment keen
they go right to the "green"

Just like Tawny Kitaen
your ass will never be the same

George of the Jungle
Your beef jerky smells fungal

Damn, that Devil's Food Cake
Gives even Beelzebub a headache

So drop that ice cream cone
And give Cookie Rapper tha THRONE!


Cookie Rapper....2009 y'all. OUT!


  1. Mike, you have way too much time on your hands.

  2. Dude you are friggin hilarious!

  3. You are fricking insane hilarious! Love it!

  4. The Ice Cream hat! I hope that Bill wears it all the time!