Thursday, June 4, 2009

Interview with the Garlic Vampire

Welcome to Interview With The Garlic Vampire. Where Mike Brody interviews Count Chop-Ped...and is never see again...or is he?! Bah bah BAHHHH!!!
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MIKE: Hello Count Chop-Ped. Daylight is approaching, so let's get right into the questions. What do you think of the growing trend of "pretty" vampires in movies and books such as "Twilight"?

COUNT CHOP-PED: Most people assume I'd hate it, but I think it's actually creating a lot of new fans and bringing attention to those of us who've been around since the beginning. But my one message to that vampire character Edward would be "Hey Edward, you think it's rough being in your 20's? Try being 1,000! It REALLY sucks!" Ho ho....just a little vampire pun humor there. Get it?

MIKE: Fantastic. Who were your main influences?

COUNT CHOP-PED: Well, I'd have to go with the obvious Vlad the Impaler and Count Chocula. But then there's the ones nobody knows about or gives credit to like Huey Lewis. Hell of a blood sucker, Huey Lewis.

MIKE: You know, I always suspected. Okay, here's the question everybody's been dying to know. You are a vampire and also a jar of garlic. How does that work? That seems impossible on numerous levels. Don't vampires hate garlic?

COUNT CHOP-PED: HOW DARE YOU ASK THAT QUESTION OF ME, MORTAL!!! I WILL DRAIN YOUR BLOOD AND OFFER IT TO HUEY LEWIS IN A BUCKET!

MIKE: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COUNT CHOP-PED: Sorry, I got a little Billy Bob Thornton on ya there. My bad.

MIKE: It's okay. You know, you kind of resemble Billy Bob Thornton...what with the oldness and the ability to continue to exist in the face of reason and logic.

COUNT CHOP-PED: DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIKE: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIKE: Well, I think that interview went really well considering I didn't die somehow.

MIKE: I'll just drive home now. Doo doo dooooo. Wow, I really need to clean my windshield!

MIKE: Hey, what's that smell? It kinda smells like...

MIKE: GARLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MIKE: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COUNT CHOP-PED: That's the "Power of Clove!" Get it? Like that Huey Lewis song "Power of Love" but "Power of Clove"? Because I'm a vampire made out of garlic and a piece of garlic is a clove. Eh, forget about it.

- FIN -

7 comments:

  1. absolutely brilliant. And hilarious! count chop-ped gave me the giggles!

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  2. Dear Mike,

    Your blogs are really funny!

    Love,

    Jessi

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  3. You should make a gif out of those pictures! It would truly ROCK! Fabulous Brody, I am glad I came and checked it out.

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  4. You are a sick, twisted, demented person, I am honored to have you as a friend. this was brutally funny!All your hard work was not done in"vein"

    Ellen
    MadCatterdesigns

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  5. that was pretty funny :) hehehehehehehehehehe

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