I once knew a girl who sold a llama to Steven Seagal.
I could not make something like this up.
I have a list of questions:
1) This happened fifteen years ago, before the internet was popular...How did Steven Seagal know that a llama was up for sale? Does he read Llama Fancy, or was he lying in bed one night and felt a ripple through the current of the universe? "There's a llama for sale."
2) What did he want with a llama? Did he want to learn how to projectile spit to further defeat his enemies? Or did he want to snuggle?
3) Did he pay with Chinese stars? How many Chinese stars does it cost to buy a llama?
4) Fifteen years have passed...is Seagal a one-llama man? Or does he have a stable of llama mistresses?
5) Did the llama teach him how to act?
6) Is Steven Seagal part llama? That would explain the stare.
7) Did Jean Claude Van Damme get jealous and buy an emu?
And finally... 8) Why don't I have a llama?