You know how some movie reviews say "Spoiler alert" as a warning before they ruin the ending? Well, this blog today has a "Gag alert". I'm going to be talking about the woman I love and am marrying and if you get weirded out by lovey-dovey stuff then turn back now! I mean it. Now's your last chance. It's gonna get gross.
We met on Match.com. She HATES admitting that. She's come up with almost every other story imaginable so she doesn't have to tell people that. "We met while white-water rafting." "We met in a pie-eating contest". "I was at a petting zoo and a magical fairy turned a goat into a boy." Anything but the truth. Match.com! Not only that, we were each other's #1 Match. Yep. They oughta make a commercial out of us.
I didn't immediately respond to her because her profile had no pictures. I had a paranoia about people without pictures being dudes or CIA agents or something so I avoided it. She still gives me shit about it. We exchanged some emails and decided to meet.
Here's the thing...
...I grew up watching crappy Disney movies where love seems to come naturally and easily. I believed in it. My whole young life, just like a 12-year-old girl, I waited to meet the perfect person that the movies promised me was real. And then life happened. I became cynical. I decided that it was all Hollywood bullshit and that I'd live a solitary existence and that was that. I thought I was strong because of this realization. I didn't need anybody. Past relationships hadn't worked...
...Flash forward to January 2010. Cynical old Mike Brody lays eyes on Zan Godschalx. And it was love at first sight. It's real. How can it be real? That can't be right. Are unicorns real too? Maybe! Because I swear to you, Blog World, I fell in love with her right then and there. Luckily, so did she. Six days later we told each other so. A couple months later I was living with her. Six months (almost to the day) we decided to get married.
It's going to happen in a treehouse in Arkansas in September. Just the two of us and the person who marries us. No frills. (Unless you think a treehouse is frilly. It kind of looks like the Ewok Forest, so perhaps!) Why Arkansas? Why not? And then we're going to stay in a tiger wildlife refuge. Awesome! Why such a small wedding with no guests? Because that's how we wanted it. We love our family and friends dearly and a big celebration would be flattering, but take a look around. Marriages are failing left and right. We wanted ours to be based on the things we love about each other. Like love and adventure and common-ground. Not money and cake and bachelor parties. If the trend is for marriages to fail, then we're going to start ours off with the statement that ours is different. It's not a knock on other people's weddings, but a declaration of "us".
So right here and now, I want to say thanks to all the family and friends who supported us when we told them the news.
Thanks to my parents. They were shocked for the first 10 minutes after I told them. They were completely blind-sided. But once they heard me spilling my heart out about Zan, they realized this was for real and their shock turned to joy. Thanks so much Mom and Dad and Lisa. Your support means everything to me.
Thank you to Zan's family. You guys are wonderful. I've only just met you, but you welcomed me in with open arms and I felt like I was immediately one of you. I could not ask for a better family to be marrying into.
And the biggest thanks goes to Zan.
Thank you for being the person I always knew existed.
Thank you for making me believe in soulmates.
Thank you for running to hug me every time I come home.
Thank you for calling me pet names and saying you love me 300 times a day.
Thank you for leaving me Ziploc bags of watermelon in the fridge.
Thank you for making me, a man who's never sure about anything, 100% positive about something for the first time in his life.
Thank you for being artistic and original and multi-talented and genius.
Thank you for noticing the little involuntary squeaky noises I make when I'm secretly proud of myself.
Thank you for supporting my comedy career. It can't be easy that I have to travel so much. You make me not feel guilty about it somehow. Incredible!
Thank you for agreeing to share this life with me. I promise to love you with all my heart until we're old and gray and poopy and we both squeak whether we are proud of ourselves or not.
I love you Zan. :)